Tied Up In Style

  • #Tiedupintalk Our first discussion tied up a treat !
  • Author avatar
    Sam D'Cruze
  • Sex Talk

#Tiedupintalk Our first discussion tied up a treat !

Last Sunday saw the first of our #Tiedupintalk discussions. I'd like to thank all the women who took part. Not only was it a success but a real privilege to connect with some very inspirational and empowering women.

I was taken aback by the honesty and it seems that the subject is not only incredibly individual but also core to the way we live our lives. 

How we feel about ourselves and our internal conversation is key. Dr Phil hits the nail on the head' The core truth about sexual confidence is not all about sex. It's very much about power, the power that comes from liking and accepting yourself", he goes on to say "Good sex, healthy sex, is a kind of play. Be willing to get good at it, and find out what it's going to take for you to like and accept yourself. Know what makes you happy sexually. Acknowledge the power that you have as a woman. Then give yourself permission to be sexual and to enjoy it". 

Our upbringing and social surroundings play a massive role in how we nurture our sexual self. Due to these factors enjoying sex without shame or guilt is something that doesn't come naturally to many. During our discussion we learnt from a very strong and sincere woman that what doesn't come naturally can be learnt over time, enabling you to have a full, happy sexual life.  

Another point that came up was knowing your own body. Expecting your partner to hit the spot can leave you disappointed and unfulfilled. Discovering your own body, knowing what turns you on and verbalising it will benefit both of you. There's nothing more empowering than telling your partner what you like and where you like it. You'll be satisfied and he'll be equally turned on by your satisfaction. Again this is a subject a lot of women feel ashamed talking about.. a future subject for #Tiedupintalk !

When researching for the talk I came across a blog written for men on how to boost sexual confidence. David DeAngelo lists a top ten tips for fellas. An interesting read giving advice on how to get a woman in bed and be happy with sexual performance. Here is my favourite piece of advice.

"Nothing about how you look, how old you are, how tall you are, how much you weigh, how much money you make , or whether or not you're her type has ANYTHING to do with how you make a woman feel once you're in bed with her. A key to remember is that AFTER a woman has experienced a mind blowing intimate experience with you, that experience alone will render all of that stuff irrelevant. It just won't matter. Picture yourself in the future ahead of time and it'll help make it a self-fulfilling prophecy"…… I'd be interested in knowing if this is the same for men, what do you think ?

Not taking ourselves too seriously, feeling relaxed and having fun were also points that were talked about. Feeling comfortable with your partner and having some humour in the bedroom always helps and should be remembered at all times!  

We've only touched on the subject and to be honest I think self confidence will be the corner stone of many of our discussions.

Join us on the 1st Sunday of every month. Our next #Tiedupintalk is February 2nd, "Sexual Experimentation, How do you ask" is the subject of the discussion. 


If you have a subject you want to talk about or would like to host the conversation please email me on darkeststars@googlemail.com. 



 Ask me about design and I'll talk the hind leg off a donkey but at the thought of hosting a discussion on sexual self confidence left me thinking I'd better do some research. As it turned out the chat flowed freely, personal views and experience were the essence of the conversation. Nevertheless the articles I read were very informative and interesting. 






 Always a Pleasure



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  • Author avatar
    Sam D'Cruze
  • Sex Talk

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